“I’m not photogenic enough for beautiful wedding photos.”

I hear some version of this from couples all the time. Sometimes it comes up before their engagement session. Sometimes it is one of the first things they say when they step in front of my camera.

And my answer is always the same.

That’s what I’m here for.

You do not need to know how to pose, where to put your hands, or how to magically become comfortable in front of a camera overnight. Creating natural wedding photos is not about finding couples who already know exactly what to do. It is about creating an environment where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself.

After 15 years photographing weddings, I can confidently say most people do not dislike being photographed. They dislike feeling uncomfortable while being photographed. And those are very different things.

You Do Not Have to Be “Photogenic” to Have Beautiful Photos

One of the first things I remind couples is simple.

Breathe.

It sounds almost too easy, but so often we look uncomfortable because we are uncomfortable. We hold our breath. We tense our shoulders. We start thinking about every little thing our body is doing.

A good photographer helps you move through that.

Most of my couples feel completely different by the end of their session than they did at the beginning. They realize they are not expected to perform. They are allowed to laugh, move, adjust, and settle in.

If someone is feeling especially self-conscious, sometimes I will show them the back of my camera because I want them to see what I am seeing. You do not know what the light looks like. You do not know what is in my frame. You do not know how the final image is coming together.

Sometimes seeing yourself through someone else’s perspective is exactly what you need.

The Secret Behind Natural Wedding Photos Is Direction

One of the biggest misconceptions about natural wedding photos is that they happen with no direction.

In reality, most effortless images have a lot of intention behind them.

I give each couple exactly as much direction as they need.

If you want to be my Barbie doll and have me move every hand, adjust every angle, and guide you through every step, I absolutely will. Some couples feel most comfortable knowing they do not have to figure anything out on their own, and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you start warming up, relaxing, and naturally falling into each other, I will step back and give you space.

My job is knowing when to guide and when to let a moment happen.

I am also a big demonstrator. It is one of the easiest ways to explain movement without physically adjusting someone. If my husband Russ is with me while I am photographing, I have been known to pull him in as my stand-in so couples can actually see what I am asking them to do.

We are a team in every part of life, and after years of working together he understands how I see connection between two people.

The goal is never to force you into someone else’s version of romance. The goal is to find yours.

Finding Poses That Feel Like You

One of my mentors, Jerry Ghionis, taught posing by comparing it to blowing up a balloon, and that idea has always stayed with me. It completely changed the way I thought about creating images that are both flattering and honest.

Posing puts the air in. Breathing lets just a little bit of that air out. That is where the natural rhythm happens. Structure is important. Good posture, flattering angles, and intentional movement all make a difference. But there is a difference between something feeling unfamiliar and something feeling completely unlike you. Maybe standing taller feels uncomfortable because most of us do not naturally stand with perfect posture all day. That is different from thinking, “I would never hold my partner this way.” My job is figuring out which is which.

Every body moves differently. Every couple fits together differently. That is why I love when couples take a dance class, fitness class, or do something that helps them understand how their body moves. Confidence comes from connection. Connection with your partner, but also connection with yourself.

Confidence Starts With Trusting Your Photographer

Here is the thing about being photographed:

You cannot see yourself. You cannot see the light. You cannot see the composition. You cannot see the final image I already have in my mind before I press the shutter. You are trusting someone else’s vision. When I photograph film, that trust becomes even more important because I cannot turn the camera around and show you a preview. That is why choosing your photographer is about so much more than loving their portfolio.

I always encourage couples to think beyond just the images when choosing their photographer. Your photographer’s style matters, of course, but so does the experience of working with them. I wrote more about what to look for when choosing a wedding photographer if you want a deeper look at finding someone whose approach, personality, and vision truly align with you.

One of my biggest pieces of advice to newly engaged couples is talk to your photographer before hiring them. Actually talk to all of your client-facing wedding vendors. You spend so much time with these people on one of the most emotional days of your life. You want to like them. Their personality matters. Their communication style matters.

The way someone gives directions, the energy they bring into a room, even the tone of their voice can either put you at ease or make you feel more nervous. I can be direct when posing. Some couples love that. They feel taken care of because they know they are not left wondering what to do. For someone else, that same approach might not be the right fit.

There are so many talented photographers. Find the person whose work you love and whose presence allows you to relax. Because if you do not feel comfortable with your photographer, loving your photos becomes much harder.

Why Engagement Photos Make the Wedding Day Easier

There is a reason I love engagement sessions. They are not just extra photos. They are where we learn how to work together.

An engagement session is also a chance to create images that feel like this season of your life, not just a practice run for the wedding day. You can see more examples and inspiration in my engagement photography portfolio.

Couples who do engagement sessions almost always walk into their wedding day more confident because we already know each other. You know how I direct. I know how you naturally interact.

We learn things like:

Where your hands naturally fall.
If you prefer more candid movement or classic portraits.
Which side you naturally gravitate toward.
What makes you laugh.

By the time the wedding day arrives, we already have a foundation. Portraits move faster and feel easier, which means you get beautiful images and more time celebrating with the people you love.

The goal was never to spend your entire wedding day taking photos. The goal is to help you feel comfortable enough that we can create meaningful images while still letting you experience your day.

Simple Ways to Feel More Prepared Before Your Photos

There are a few simple things you can do before your engagement session or wedding day to feel your best.

Choose outfits that feel connected

Your outfits do not need to match, but they should feel like they belong together.

Think about similar color families, seasons, and levels of formality.

A summer dress next to a heavy jewel-toned sweater will naturally feel disconnected. Choose clothing that feels like you are both going to the same place together.

I also recommend choosing two looks for engagement photos whenever possible. One more elevated and one more casual. It creates variety and lets you discover what feels most like you.

Schedule your hair and makeup trial

Your engagement session can be a great opportunity to schedule your wedding hair and makeup trial.

Not only do you get to see how everything wears throughout the day, you also get to see how it photographs.

Look at inspiration thoughtfully

I love when couples share inspiration images.

My biggest advice is to figure out why you love them.

Is it the color?
The location?
The editing style?
The emotion?
The pose?

Understanding what you love makes it much easier to communicate with your photographer.

Take care of yourself

Sleep.

Hydrate.

Eat.

Create a timeline that gives you room to breathe.

The calmer you feel, the easier it is to enjoy what is happening around you.

What If You Do Not Love How You Look in Photos?

When someone tells me they hate their smile, do not like photos of themselves, or their fiancé hates being photographed, it usually opens up a deeper conversation. Sometimes the answer is simple. Maybe there is an angle you prefer. Maybe there is something specific you are worried about. Maybe you just need more direction. But sometimes it goes deeper than posing.

I say this as someone who spends most of my life behind the camera and has still struggled being on the other side of it. There have been seasons where I found myself hiding in the back of photos because I did not want to be seen.

Over the years I have found, taking care of my body, finding movement that feels good, practicing positive self-talk, and intentionally getting in front of the camera have helped me change my relationship with being photographed. It has also made me a more compassionate photographer. A beautiful pose can help you see yourself differently, but confidence also comes from the way you see yourself before you ever step in front of the camera.

The Best Photos Happen When You Let Yourself Experience the Moment

After 15 years photographing weddings, I have learned that confidence is a mindset. When you believe you deserve to be seen, that shows. Your partner chose you. Believe you are worth being chosen.

Some of the moments where I see couples relax the most happen right after they say “I do.” The pressure releases. They realize they are married. They get to celebrate. Another moment is after the first dance, when the formalities fade and everyone settles into the joy of the day.

The moments you cannot recreate are often the ones that mean the most.

The way you laugh during your best man’s speech.
The way your partner looks at you when you are not paying attention.
The little moments that feel like home.

Those are the images that make your gallery feel like you.

One of the reasons I care so much about creating a comfortable experience is because the photographs that last are usually the ones where you can feel the connection. I talk more about this in my guide on what makes wedding photos feel timeless.

So if you are worried about feeling awkward in your wedding photos, remember this:

You do not have to arrive confident. You just need someone you trust to help you find it.

If you are looking for a photographer who will guide you through the process while creating images that feel natural, timeless, and true to your relationship, I would love to hear your story.